Twinkles

This last pound has taken me out of the 180’s. I am closing in on the mini goal. The real test is going to be this weekend. I will stay on my diet plan and I dont care if I have to lock the fridge.

Feeling better after talking to the right people. I vented a little to my boss and then last night boyfriend and I had a long talk. Since yesterday was his birthday, I saved enough calories during the day to eat a good size piece of cake without guilt or consiquence.

People keep asking me how I am doing it and they look stunned when I tell them. This lady asked what I brought to work in my brown paper bag. When I told her she asked “Will that fill you up?” well yeah. It is not that hard to beleive that people can not eat a lot and feel fine. I brought yogurt, carrots, a tomato, veggie bites, and low cal pudding. This amounts to under 500 calories for my day. Not to mention bringing lunch does a lot to save in the wallet. Tonight I will endulge with some mushroom spaghetti and a glass of wine. It is such a good feeling to be happy with all this food.

Am I an odd ball? Probably, but I am a shrinking oddball!!

Everyone have a great day and keep dropping.

Being a firm believer in voting, I tuned into a little bit of the democratic debate and watched mostly the discussion of Iraq. Sen. Barrack and Sen. Hilary seemed to have the safest answers. I didn’t like the guy who said he have all troops out in a year because I just dont see that happening.

Now I do not claim to be either Democratic or Republican because I agree with different issues on different sides.

Well anyways, I go to bed early because I am having a down day and then starts the crazy dream. I dream I am at a craft store late at night and there is a big event I have to set up for. Turns out the Clintons are there for a rally. So I am trying to meet them and I finally get to and I tell Hilary “You have my vote, see you in office” She replies “I haven’t even….”  and finally I say “you will get it I know”. It was one of those cheesy music moments you see in movies.

Odd, very odd.

Well as far as weight loss goes, I am kinda stuck at 180. I think it is stress. At least I haven’t gained anything so that is better than nothing. It is just that when everything starts to need my attention the first two things I sacrifice are sleep then exercise. My functioning is out of whack. So I need to stop worrying for a little while and get back to nuetral.

Thanks to everyone who shared annoyances with me yesterday. I have a whole lot more but I will let it rest because I feel better.

Do you ever have those days when everything annoys you? I am. TV, People, myself. All just annoying.

I was watching TV and I will admit I an kinda a little reality show watcher. Well if anyone is familiar with Dr 90210 will know what I am talking about. This lady goes in and wants a ‘Wonder Woman” makeover. This lady is maybe a size 8. This procedure was just unnatural. They did her chin, butt, hips, stomach, and another place that only dr’s and spouses should see. HOW ridiculous can one person be to get all this crap done. Hit the gym and invest the difference. Wow think about how that money could have grown is a stable index fund. I am not totally agaisnt plastic surgery but goodness.

Another annoyance, impatient people. There is one lady in the mornings that I sometimes catch in the elevators. She is always in a hurry and heaven forbid if you get in her way. She walks super fast from one elevator to another and sighs everytime the elevator stops on a floor that is not hers. Get over it or buy your own private elevator.

My apologies if complaining peole annoy you. I am feeling the pull of everything right now and it does cause the short temper in me. Luckily I have A averages in all of my college courses. I made a 92 on a business test yesterday and a 96 on my accounting test. Woo Hoo! I know this is shallow but it makes me happy to know that I am way smarter than the rich girl with a huge engagement ring and cadillac. She was asking if perfect attendence would get her extra credit. Sorry honey, this is college not elementary school.

So again thanks for the short rant. I have no one really to talk to right now.

I dont blog like I used to on here. I feel like no one really cared about what I was saying, it know it is not personal but just part of the blogging world.  But since I have stopped my weight loss has stagnated. I lost 5 finally but now another week without movement.  I wonder if there is a connection.

So I am going to hold myself accountable for it. I am going to get back to consistant loss. I know what I need to do so darn it, JUST DO IT. I just feel a little stretched thin with college, work, weight loss, daughter, boyfriend, bills and anything else that decides to crop up. BREATHE. Feeling so run down, at least my stomach has been behaving. THe DR wants me to have an endoscope look at my stomach. YEAH not cool. I have had my stomach pumped before and dont look forward to that not to mention the bill for it.

Still making it to the gym about 3 times a week plus yoga twice. Now to run. I will run at least twice a week. I will reach my mini goal soon. This feel too good to stop. Better than bonus time at work IMO.

So there are my thoughts on reasoning for today. Tomorrow I cover interesting points I notice.

MUCH LOVE FROM MARY~~

Now I am sure many of you have played with the online BMI calculators. I do every time I loose a lb. I know they are not accurate but it is still a good way to guage progress.

I started this year at 212 lbs. Now I am only 5′2″ (depending on what shoes I wear I can reach 5′4″) that equals a BMI of 38.8. No Bueno (no good). Well now I weigh 180 which is a BMI of 32.9. I have lost 15% of my body weight. Quite tremendous. I am working for that mini goal of 170 and going from an obese BMI to an overweight BMI at 163lbs. I have never weighed less than 170 my entire adult life and it better get ready because it will soon be history.

 I am trying to reach it before October 22 because we have a Board of Directors meeting and my big boss hasn’t seen me since I lost the weight. She is a darling woman and one reason that inspired me to loose weight. She turned 70 this year and she is just beautiful and healthy and a wonderful woman inside as well. I know I want to look like that when I get older and it has to start now. So we are going to get strict with the exercise again. Last week was bad and it affected my whole body. I hit the gym last night and slept well. Gotta get back on track. I did still loose 2 lbs last week so all wasn’t lost. I think the problem is when everything gets crazy the gym is sacrificed for other things. Dear BF gets lonely sometimes. I think sometimes I am mother to a 3 year old and a 23 year old.

All is well in my little bubble.

I am having an awesome day. The scale has moved another pound and soon I will say good bye 180’s!  I got to preform the awesome duty of paychecks today and everyone likes you more when you bring money!!!

And here is another booster. I had to get our department car washed and one of the washers kept smiling at me. I thought it was cute. My ego is bigger than my head right now.

I think alot of it has to do with my previous post http://thisismetrying.buddyslim.com/2007/09/12/the-next-stage/

I haven’t had time to exercise like I would like to but I have been doing Yoga and I am getting better with it!! Everything is going on with no stop in sight and I am loving it.

Tonight is homecoming in my old hometown so I am going to get a new top and show off this weight loss. It isn’t as much as I had hoped for at this time but 32lbs is nothing to sneeze at. My daughter is getting a new outfit too and we are going to watch my little bro kick butt on the field. He is starting offensive lineman. He is actually my little big bro being 5′9″ about 220lbs. At one point he and I weighed the same so I decided I didn’t want to compete with him anymore.

Just having an awesome day, hope everyone else will too.

I have had a lot of time to think about everything. My life is full speed ahead and I am ready for it. When we encounter a new journey it causes a range of motions. My weight loss journeys have started with excitement and determination. It is when the excitement fades that determination faulters. These last two weeks have been the deciding point for me.

In the past at this point is when I throw in the towel for weight loss. The point when determination is left to stand on its own and for me, It has always failed. This time my journey is different. I could feel it today as I ate my lunch. I somehow tried to stay on my diet even though I have been less than willing theses last two weeks but today I didn’t mourn my loss of fat-girl lunches. I was very happy with the food and knowing what a good decision I had made. A sense of pride. Then the revelation hit me with a sense of calm. I was ready to continue my journey.

So now the excitement has dulled but the determination has remained. Now I am ready to continue further than I have ever gone. The excitement has been replaced by a willingness to learn and be open minded and a sense of understanding. I understand the hard work it takes and will take for the rest of my life, the willingness to adapt, and the determination that will see me through.

Why was this weight loss journey different? I started this journey with a battle mentality. I had armed myself with knowledge. Knowledge of the pain, the hard work, and the science for a healthy life. I accepted it all and then finally today embraced it.

My battle will continue but I am ready for the fight.

After being stuck for almost 3 weeks, my scale is dropping in numbers. I weighed 182 lbs. That means I have lost 30 lbs. That is phenominal. I feel great.

30lbs is like loosing a three year old off my body. Mini Goal here I come. I hope to reach it before the Board of Directors Meeting in October seeing as I have to help plan for it.

YEAH, I could bounce around the room because I am so happy. Everything is dropping into place. I had extra time yesterday so I went to the gym and then went duck feeding at the pond with my daughter and BF. And I finally woke up early (5:15 am) to walk/jog. I did a combination of 2 min of walking 1 min of jogging for about 45 min. It was awesomely weird to have so much energy in the morning. Here is a toast to ASH for being a motivator there! Yoga tonight and a break tomorrow. I haven’t had a break in a while may walk around the mall for kicks.

In other news, the doctor ordered a CAT Scan for my abdomen. I am nervous about what they could find. If it yields no answers, the Dr wants to do an endoscope into my stomach. YIKES. I go today at lunch to have it done. More money for something. Luckily my insurance cover 90% percent of the procedure so it wont be that bad. Still some of the tests get quite rediculous. My daughter had a hearing test where she slept for the whole darn thing and it costed $660 for an hour.

So in conclusion, hard work does payoff even if it is eventually.

So I have been stuck on my plateau for about 2 1/2 weeks and boy it sucks. I feel that by the end of this week the scale will move again but I am going to have to shake it up a bit.

I knew that once school started that it would be difficult to make it to the gym like I want to. So instead I have tried to find ways to incorporate different exercize without sacrificing all my time. We, as a family, have been going swimming on the weekends which is a really good workout in my opinion. I have even learned how to swim in the deep end. I am no olympic swimmer but I can keep my head above water. Tonight I decided to take my daughter to the duck pond to we can walk around and feed the ducks. Again exercize but quality time. The evenings here have been beautiful so I hope fresh air will do us all some good.  And tomorrow I am going to wake up early and walk/jog for 30 min to 45 min. I have always wanted to be a runner and I hope to get back on track with that. I have Yoga again tomorrow afternoon so that is a double whammy. I have learned that if my weekends are to be filled with gym time, I have to go in the mornings because too much else is happening. A healthy lifestyle is always a balancing act within my circus but well worth the entertainment.

I am still having problems with my stomach so back to doctor. The ultrasound was negative so good news bad news there. Good news, nothing is wrong there. Bad news, we dont know what is wrong. Such a lovely paradox of modern medicine.

So here is to working harder and jumping off the plateau……..