I like to thank all that replied to my last short blog. I am fustrated again and if i can do it once, I can do it again. I am the only thing stopping me. I have to realize that my triggers are not excuses, my worries dont need food to medicate them. I dont need that cookie and it wont help the numbers in the checkbook. I may have to change techniques but tomorrow is another day. We can change, I can change.

I am writing a contract today, right now. I am going to read this contract whenever I get a munchie or emotion. I will not use food to mask why I am truly upset. I will not let that win. I am stronger than that. I will make it. One day, today, right now…….

I finished school for the semester. I made Dean’s list and I got my associates degree!!! Woo Hoo now on to my bachelors degree. School always brings me too much stress eating. I hope to really drop weight now.

In other news, I AM ENGAGED!!!! We are heading to Vegas in October and having a quickie wedding for legal reasons but we are having a tiny church ceremony next year. (Dont ask, nothing is ever easy with me!!)

I have to loose at least 20 lbs by my wedding and honeymoon. I AM GOING TO WEAR A BIKINI!!!! amognst other things

I am ready to do this once and for all. I love y’all buddies and much luck on your own adventures.

It has been a long time since I have posted. Haven’t been able to report because I was told to lay off the internet at work. OOPS!

Trying to be back into the swing of things. I have been careless with food and exercise but have maintained at 164. I get so close and then I seem to lay off of what I know I need to do. I am close to loosing 50lbs, getting to an overweight BMI as opposed to a morbidly obese BMI. I am about to weigh less than my boyfriend. It is all coming together and I will not let it stop now.

I did have to go half speed at the gym. I am recovering from a flu and still have the phlegm in my chest and airways. I didn’t want to hack up a lung on the treadmill. I hope to check in once a week and go from there. I will make it to 132 before June. That is one year since I have started to loose weight and that will be 82lbs lost. I WILL DO IT!!

Have a great week!

I wanted to get back on the early morning exercise routine but I managed to go once on tuesday and stopped after that. Granted weather was bad, I still could have gone.

Food consumption has been bad too. I have had the munchies all week. I keep grazing the fridge and of course I cant stop myself.Boyfriend says I need a hobby which is probably true. I just cant stick to anything. I have a quilt I need to finish for my daughter but I have no sewing machine. I have yarn but crocheting is not my favorite pastime. I could scrapbook but it is expensive to start and frankly I dont have the money to start that. Too many excuses, that is my problem. I am going to finish the weekend on a higher note and start again on monday.

At least I didn’t gain any weight this week. My love to everyone.

I blogged last week about not loosing weight and returning to what worked the first time. So I have gone back to walking almost daily and eating 1200 calories a day. Lo and behold, it works as well as it did last june.

168 lbs. So close to so much right now. In 5 lbs, my BMI goes from obese to overweight. In 8 lbs I weigh less than my boyfried. In 9lbs, I will be in the 150’s, something I have never ever done. In 6lbs, I will have lost 50lbs. So much motivation right now.

The new gym location opens in February and I am ready!!! Running and walking on the roads are killing my shins. I will survive though.

Sending out love to my buddies. I have a date with The Biggest Loser tonight.

J.K. was taken aback. This woman had written a series of books that have kids reading all around the world, she went from a struggling single parent to a billionare, got marrried, and is a proud mother and the first thing the other woman mentioned is weight.

I understand this relationship. I went to buy my college books the other day and had seen two people from my old hometown. And of course they ask How much weight I have lost. Now I like the compliment but there are so many other acheivements to it all. I am a mother, student, worker, almost wife(dont ask), and healthy. But sometimes I feel all people care is how good or bad I look.

Am I being paranoid? Don’t get me wrong, loosing weight is great but being healthy is more important. The weight will catch up to the healthy. And I think that is why buddyslim is different. All the loosers on here understand it is more than vanity, it is our health.

I work hard at being healthy but it doesn’t compare to everything else I have done. I have come so far in life but I think I allowed my weight to protect me from some of the realities. When I was fat, I didn’t have to worry about how I looked to most people, it was my shield. If someone was truly my friend, they wouldn’t worry about my weight.

Now this is the mentality (I call it “the fat girl mentality”) that will sabatouge everything if it let it. I have come close to eating wrong again and sometimes I dont want to exercise anymore. But as I have lost more and more weight, this piece of me becomes easier to fight. One day, I will complete my weightloss and be happy with it but I will also finish school and be a great wife and mother.

I will always have that part of me that is the fat girl but she will not define me. Rather, she will be a part of me that makes me stronger and for that I am grateful.

I am the one at fault. No one else to blame for my lack of exercise since the new year. I was discouraged they closed my gym until Feb 2 because its changing locations. But that is no longer a viable excuse.

Weight wise, I have mainained to the T 170lbs. No more no less. I tried adding 120 calories to my daily intake due to reading some info but I am going back down to 1200 calories a day. I am going back to the basics for a while.

Walking everyday, 1200 Calories a day, Lots of veggies and water.

Sometimes I think we all get lazy and I got too comfortable with 170. I still have a yoga mat being unused. I know how to do yoga so what is stopping me? NADA except my own laziness. No bueno.

I want to be a runner. So this program suggest walking to 8 straight days to start. So I am going to walk.

Time to take accountability again and loose some more weight.

Rarely, I have “attacks” were my blood sugar drops and causes me to have the shakes. It happens rarely these days but was more frequent during my pregnancy. I have been tested for hypoglocemia and diebeties and tested negative for those. My doctor says it could be early hypoglocemia but not to worry unless I get them frequently. So I really dont worry.

Well, it happened this morning. I think stress is doing it! I ate a piece of banana bread in the break room and two chocolate kisses. Feeling a little better. There might be a better way to handle them but all I know is to eat.

So now I feel kinda bad for breaking the diet but I had to. I have been stuck at 170 for two weeks and need to get back to a exercise routine. Semester starts next week and that will be fun. Busy Busy Busy!! At least I am 42lbs lighter!!

I was well on my diet yesterday when after 10pm, I fell into the munchies. I had a small slice of cheese, some summer sausage, grapes, and a serving of baked chips. WHY? It didn’t satisfy anything. I didn’t gain any weight but that isn’t going to help me loose. I did throw away some other temptations in order not to do that again.

They closed my gym location closest to me and now I am a little lost. They have another branch open but that is way far away and packed until the new location opens in February. I am thinking about the old alternative of my apartment gym or outside running. I have a couple of videos but I live on the second floor and I feel the floor move when I try to do them. I need to take up tennis since I have a tennis court right next to my apartment.  I will work out today, if even for 20 minutes and I will do a full workout tomorrow. I am ready to loose again like I did in December. That was awesome!!!!

I am close to changing status on my BMI. I go from Obese to Overweight at about 163lbs. That means taking it from 36.6 to under 30. YEAH!!! That means much to me. I remember in my high school health class measuring my BMI and my teacher making me stand in front of the class as she explained the dangers of obesity. I cried my self to sleep that night needless to say. Obesity doesn’t only hurt the body but it hurts the soul. I hear some people say once your fat your always fat despite weight. It is something you cant forget. I think its time to start dropping some of those emotions along with the weight. Allow myself to totally become healthy.

I dont have to be a fat girl anymore….